Friday, March 22, 2013

A Friend of Mine

A Friend for 65 years, starting as neighbors when we were 12. She, Joyce passed away the first day of Spring, yesterday. She found out just last month that she had cancer. She could live another three or four months on Chemo but if not was given a week or a month at most.  She chose to go home and die. Brave woman. She lived a little over two weeks. I write about this on my blog because of the way it has affected me.

 She lived in N.J. most of her life while I lived in either Florida or Tennessee.  This prevented us from having any coffee on the front porch type relationship, but we always knew we could phone or email or write to each other. She had a stroke at one time too and it was hard for her to talk where I could understand her so we limited those calls.  Knowing she was bed ridden now I phoned her daughter and was able to talk a little too her.  So glad I did for a week later she passed away.

I am wondering why I have been feeling so sad at losing such a friend. Not the normal sadness one would feel but something else.  There was a period in our lives that we didn't see each other for years as our children were growing up and we worked.  Just too busy I guess. After we retired would meet every so often to renew our friendship and compare us aging together.

That friendship was there always.  She was a year older than me, 78, so maybe I realize how fragile life is at this point in our lives. We would compare our aches and pains and medications as old people do, yet the end of life seemed still so far away.

Our young years as children were etched in both our minds as I would email letters to her reminiscing about those years.  I was told how much she enjoyed them.  Writing to her about school, boys we dated, the seashore we hung out at.  A lot of old memories. I could picture everything we did in my mind. It seems that that part of my life was gone, with her.

 Now, am I on the end of my life?, I kept thinking.  Not to get so morose about life and death but one has to think of those things occasionally as this event has shown me. People pass away at this age but this was
so sudden for me to fathom.  I will live with her loss as will her wonderful family other friends.  I will start to share with my children, my childhood, my friend Joyce.

Photo taken in New York after graduation from High School . Joyce is on the far left and I am on the far right  across from her.  We were all either 17 or 18.


  1. I'm so sorry that your beloved friend has lost her fight with cancer...I can relate, sadly...
    Everyday I think about my BFF and still miss her.
    I'm so thankful for the memories of her as I see that you are too for your friend.
    Take care...

  2. I think as you grow older you wonder how much longer you have to enjoy this wonderful life. Losing a long time friend, especially one you grew up with and share the same age makes eternity that much more real. But you are so so very lucky to have kept touch with your friend, as she was lucky to have your friendship also. Several times over the years I have searched for high school friends and have never been able to find the ones I miss so much, especially now as I grow closer to retirement.
    Best Wishes.

  3. You were both beautiful young women, looking very poised! Deaths of close friends is all that you say in this nice post and it's the end of a relationship that endured like very other relationships do, thus a treasure gone. It's entirely appropriate to grieve for Joyce just as you would for anyone in your family and it may be months before you feel adjusted to her loss.

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